Currently
Monday, December 29, 2008
Feeling annoyed.
With what? My very own mother.
Its been a long time that I have anger issues, and I blame her. Gahh, I'm so mad right now I don't feel like talking to anyone, period.
Why does she has to be different from my friends' parents? Can't she be a little open-minded? Can't she accept her daughter for what she is now? Does she has to be so controlling?
Has she really learned anything after all the terrible incidents? Or am I really that selfish??
Yea, I know she gave birth to me, which is painful, and she raise me up, yes, I still respect her, but I'm just angry now, it's a feeling.
I am not allowed to display angry feelings in my very own house, which is why I like to take them out in this blog. Whenever I accidentally showed signs such as giving a sulky face or even slamming doors, I get freaking screaming from her.
Can you even imagine when she found out about my piercings and tattoos? Need I say more?
I feel like slamming something right now.
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:14 PM,
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Navigate me through your body
Monday, September 1, 2008
Navigate me
I can't sleep, I haven't been able to sleep for 2 days since I was drunk yesterday. I only slept for less than 5 hours last night, and now I just can't get to sleep. I think I'm still hung up. (Impossible!) I just can't fucking sleep!!! I need some sleeping pills!
Oh, since I can't sleep, I might as well write some shiz here. Yesterday's fireworks sucked big time! It happened for only less than a minute, then silence. I think I've been watching too much Olympics, the fireworks are amazing! I think it happened for about 20 minutes or more, right? And what's the big day today? (or yesterday?) It's the independence day of Malaysia. Nothing special, just that my country turns 51 today (or yesterday?), man I'm blurred.
Today was my off day, it's been busy. I've been practically out from the house for 12 hours or so. Was woken up by my mom at 6am something, then went back to sleep. Then got disturbed up at 7am again, to talk to mom. Then John called. Ah, that's when I started to leave home. He got some tyre problems, poor him. Glad I'm around the neighborhood to help out. =) And then sent Elsa to the bus stop. Poor girl, haven't been seeing her family for a week.
Went and get my tattoo. It still remains a secret. It hurts. =) I love the pain.
Went out shopping with mom. It's been a LOOOONG time since I've spend time with her. She seems to be taking things one step at a time, I'm so glad for her, she's doing well.
I haven't eaten a proper meal until dinner. My breakfast was like a banana. My lunch was 6 pieces of crackers. My dinner was a set dinner from Mong Kok, and I didn't even finish it. What's wrong with my appetite lately? I just can't seem to swallow down food anymore. Is it anorexia?
My head aches till now. My ears are humming that I can't balance myself.
Glen said, quite a post! Thanks.
I love the way you talk on top of me
So navigate me through your body
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 12:41 AM,
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Talk about being
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Superficial
I might write lots of crap in this entry, like I always do.
Speaking of superficial, I've met tons of superficial people. Every time I meet these kinds of people, I keep asking myself, why can't people be real? At least tell the truth so that I know what you're thinking in your head. Just try not to fake it, the more you fake, the more trouble you'll get. So what if you don't know how to do certain things? Just tell me that you don't know, and we'll straighten things up. Or just tell me how you honestly feel, so that I know what to do to make you less comfortable.
The most superficial bitch I've met this week is that Rachel John from the training department. What a two faced bitch she is, pretending to be sick so that I won't push her hard. What I'm trying to tell her is that I want to learn more so that she can place me in another department. What she thinks is that I need to be more patient about the department I'm currently in. Just because I don't like working in that current department doesn't means that I'm weak and want to give up. It's just that I don't like working there. It's hot, it's sweaty, it's muscle aching! And she expects me to sacrifice more time for work, for an unpaid training in that hotel, and abandon my family. The moment I heard those words from her, I just want to curse her a disaster of family problems so that she knows the situation I'm getting in just to get a stupid diploma.
Well, fuck her and fuck her life.
And speaking of life, why is that she keep saying that when I work in the hotel, I must consider the hotel as my second home? She said I'll be constantly spending most of my days in the hotel. What kind of person would like to spend their time in the hotel, especially when I'm not being paid. Every day when I'm at the hotel, I'm counting how many hours left for me till I go home. And my life is practically getting more and more boring. It's the same old routine for me every single day. Get up-Get ready-Work-Go home-Sleep. With this freaking routine every day, you think I have anything exciting to write in this blog, except for complaining? I'm a freak person, I like to have excitements in my life. I want my life to be exciting and full of fun in spite of all the negativities. I don't want a life that tells me that I'm a working class person. It's so not worth living if I'm constantly working and working and not have any single fun in life.
Today seemed to be a nice day to me. It's the first time I had fun at work. I get to eat tortillas, drink Sling and drink beer. And I think I'm drunk now. Can't wait to get my new tattoo tomorrow, and I surely can't wait for my birthday to come. =)
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 11:56 PM,
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You are the dream
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
..and I'm the nightmare
Realize why my recent entries always start with some Italic sentences? It's the lyrics of the song I'm listening to when I'm writing this blog. =) Don't judge me, I just love good songs.
Now I know why I'm such a perfectionist freak. The simple reason, I don't like to read bad articles, i.e. incorrect spelling and bad grammar. =) It finally took me one whole day to figure that out.
OH!! Something bad + wonderful happened yesterday.
I still hate my job, people here are really taking advantage of us trainees. 'Nuff said. I wish I'm assigned to the Sunset Bar everyday. I like working with Doris, she's like the only staff that understand out feelings. =) And we have so many conversations. Never get bored. And Joseph is so patient with me when I'm making my first cocktail. The Borneo Paradise!
Met my crush yesterday too. He's doing some sort of things with a Chinese gangster. He gets to make the gangster in pain without getting into trouble. =) How cool is that? Nope, he's not into those gangster stuffs, it's just a job, safe job.
He said I looked nice and he's happy to see me!!! Imagine how wide my smile is, hohoho. And he's waiting for a date. Ok, I should shut up now!!!!
Hopefully I get my 2nd tattoo this week. But I'm kinda busy. Figuring out how to squeeze some time for tattoo time!~
I'm kinda disappointed when I heard the juniors are all going to Hyatt instead of Star. It's like so unfair, I wanna meet my friends for so long. Such a slap in the face! Conclusion, everything in Star is working out fine, except for the F&B department.
I think I need to stop now and start to get ready again for work. My life is getting so boring these few days, it's like a list that's inside my head. What time doing what. Hurm, so dissatisfied!
Here's something scary
You said she is so evil, but
She looks like heaven to me
I'd follow her to hell and back again
I swear I'd sign my name in blood
It dripped down from my veins
I swore I'd never tell
I look so weird in the last picture.
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:35 AM,
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See you on the flipside
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Nothing showing on the outside, some thing's dying on the inside....
You know what, I think I'm being a fucking perfectionist again. Notice the way I type in this blog, words/alphabets that are supposed to be capitalized are capitalized. I even spell proof my blog! And making sure the grammar is fine. =.= I type differently in blog and in my messenger. I'm such a weirdo.
I hate unknown "miss callers" and texts. Lately I've received these fucking calls and texts. And the sender don't even want to tell me what their names are. I'm so fed up with these losers. Is it that important that they keep their identities hidden? Or is it because they are superheroes? Fuck my ARSE!! Total losers =OOOOOOOOO
Elsa's mom bought a chain from Aussie for me. It's a 24-ct Gold Kangaroo chain. And Elsa told me it's not real gold. I don't believe it! It's written there clearly, right?? If it's real, I don't think I can accept it. I'm such a klutz when it comes to handling expensive stuffs. The only expensive thing I'm wearing right now is a gold chain with jade my aunt gave me as a sign of protection. My cell phone is as wrecked as hell, so that proves that I'm not a good person in taking care of things properly. =.=
I miss the Front Office badly. =( I miss disturbing Feddy every time in the reception. I miss him insulting people and email-ing his girlfriend. (He let me read his emails). I miss Betsy always asking us to go take food with her. I miss uncle Sid and his funny acts. I miss James and his chin. I miss Haensen for always lying to me!(as a joke). I miss "taking" pens home from the office. I miss Giant for hiding behind the pillar even though I see him. I miss lazying around in the luggage room! =(((((((((( Sad face with so many chins! =.=
Yesterday some one asked about my status. I'm single and -available-. And he said he wants to "fill in the application" form. =.= Makes me crack up even though it's not funny.
Kyle Patrick's voice is so sexy!!
And I love disco songs! They are so retro!
I don't wanna go to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The radios
Are all in tune
A thousand cars
A disco ball when
The headlight moves
Were gonna dance
'til we see the sun
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:57 AM,
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Everyone
Monday, August 25, 2008
wants to be loved...
I'm not in loved, this is not my heart
Okay, I'm not emo.
Ihateworkingthere. =( I'm so tired, and I have to get ready in 15 minutes and still writing this. Yesterday was a good day for me, not only did I get an off day, I get to watch 3 CSIs. And oh, Olympic's over. Got to see David Beckham kicking ball.
I promised to Glen I will update more often. Yeah, I love writing shits in my blog. But the problem is that, I run out of shits. T.T I don't have anyone to bitch...
Oh yeah, was chatting with Bam last night. She may be my date to do the piercings. Yay, a pierce partner! She's my new best friend!
Okay, since I have nothing much to say about my life right now, I may talk about hot men. Hmm..yummy!
Robert Downey Jr.
Okay, he might be old, but who can resist a superhero who is also a playboy in Iron Man. A cheesy hot guy in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. A hot guy in Zodiac. Oh my gosh, I'm gushing about an old man. He's got a son for God's sake. Ha!
Is he hot or hot?!!?!?!?!
Alrite, I need to stop here to get ready or I'm gonna be shitty late for my shitty work with shitty staffs and fucking manager and lame fucks.
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:50 AM,
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What I like
Saturday, August 23, 2008
You don't have sleep because I can hear your heart beat fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink....
My emotions are really unstable. Sometimes I think of this, and sometimes I think of that. My head aches, my muscles aches. I'm not myself.
Every time I become unstable, I think of piercing myself and tattooing. It's like the pain inside is now spreading to the outside. The only thing that can make me numb is the pain. The Pain. Am I seriously ruining my life? I hate everything I see, I hear, I feel. If only someone can see how wrecked I am.
Why do I always keep a strong head up even though things are not good. It's not making sense anymore. I don't care what people feel about me, and I don't care what their feelings are anymore. I don't care if they are hurt by words that came out from my mouth. They are all peasants to me now. What's my problem? I think I'm just empty.
Currently filling my life with some stuffs to make me less bored.
1. Waiting for the new season of Desperate Housewives. (Yes, I love to watch desperations)
2. Wishing CSI airs every single day and every single hour of my life. Nobody can deny that the series are superbly brilliant. I don't know why I so hooked by it by now. Every time I watch every episode my mind is like blown away. It's awesomely awesome! (Eddie is so cute >.<)
3. Reading thick novels (just finished one). I need to buy more!
4. Thinking of stuffs to write down in this blog. =)
5. Wishing China would stop winning those Olympic Golds and give other countries some chances, like Malaysia. Poor LCW. Never mind, you're still cute to me =)
6. Michael Phelps.
7. Thinking of designs that are forever going to be on me.
8. Hate boys/men.
9. Wishing of the end of practical. =(
Listing down stuffs are great.
and 10. Miley Cyrus' brother. ^^
I think I love writing about my life. My pathetic little life. There must be something I'm grateful for. I'll list that down in the future. =p
My cousin left KK for the US. All I can say is the best for him. I love his cooking. It's always creamy and rich!
Waiting for the puppies to grow up!
posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:41 PM,
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