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Xia XY - My Blahs

Feast your eyes!
Monday, October 15, 2007

I've got nothing much to do with the blog, so I'll just post some random pictures.



















posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 12:35 PM, ,




Thing's been much better
Friday, October 12, 2007

You see, I'm much more better now. I'll tell you why.

"Best friends in life are hard to find."

Somehow I remembered this line from a lyric, still don't know which lyric, but they are from some song. It's true. Good friends are really hard to find, but once you've found them, you've been blessed, and really really blessed. I have found my good friends since I was in secondary school. And I'm really lucky to have them. Good friends understand me better than those losers out there who are trying to get me.

Previous blog, I received Glen's comments, he is such a sweet friend. He made me strong. Read what he wrote, hehehe.

Darn her, that's really good, darn her!

posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 5:39 PM, ,




It's Joey, bitch
Sunday, October 7, 2007

Do you believe there’s such thing as “Karma”? What goes around comes around? I believed it happened, yesterday. =)

Right after less than hour writing my previous blog, I chatted to some of my best friends. Although I never talk to her about my matters; but I did feel a lot better after talking to her. She made me laughed a lot and smile. It’s such a relieve to just talk to somebody, who actually cared about me and my existence. That’s what best buddies are for, right? To cheer up each other when we’re down, that’s what we are for!

Well, I think it’s time that I talk about Abigail (Abby), baby’s ex. I don’t ever mind that I call her a bitch, because she called me one, behind my back. That’s what she is, a freaking back-stabbing bitch.

When she and baby were dating, things went rocky. At that time, Leong and I were just buddies. Which is why he came to us (our group) when things got rocky. Ever since, we got closer, and rumors start spreading – that I “snatch” Leong from Abby. This got me mad, of course, if it was you, you’d be mad right? Right??

After that, me, being mad as usual, got the nerve to message Abby and explained things to her. She told me that she understands, and she believed me, because I told her that Leong and I are just friends. This is the truth, because at that time, we were really nothing. Knowing that she understands the situation, I kind of got relieved that time. Then, she told me they broke up.

And she even posted that we are friends for life in my Friendster comment. I really did think that we patched up, and we’re good.

And do you know what she did to me? You know what she did? Hoo boy, writing this will get me to the usual crazy mad I am. Glen, I think you’re going to be happy when I’m writing this, because, you know me. =)

First thing first, her best friend, Mary, posted something horrible in Leong’s Friendster picture comment. And then, she got her sister to post something even much more horrible that that, in both, mine and Leong’s Friendster. They said I’m the bitch, he’s the asshole. Right now, who’s the bitch and who’s the real asshole, huh? Whore!

That’s only the first “nasty” move she did. Wanna know the rest? Don’t worry your pretty little head off; I’m writing them out, this blog is going to be real good, full of my “mean-i-ness”. Oh, after what her sister wrote to me, I wrote her something back, I don’t really remember what I wrote, but it contained something like that, telling her to not mind my business, and who is she to judge me and I told her to be civilized and stop wasting her time. In a good way, no fowl words used there. =) I’m a saint, ain’t I? But, I don’t think she understand my English, because she’s a dumbass. She seemed to be more persistent and hard-headed. But, I don’t really care; she’s just a useless 15 year old, little girls don’t scare me. =P

One day, when I’m just minding my own business, she walked past me and I saw her gave me that look. Bitchy look =D. I don’t know what happened to me, but I cried. I’m such an idiot! To be crying over something that’s useless. No, I’m not FRAGILE!!!!

Then after that, she even hacked Leong’s Friendster account. That idiot gave her his password when they were dating and never even cared to even change it. Sigh. Not that I think this is dumb, but at least give it a brain to think about. We think it was her. Because only she knew the password, so we assumed it was her. She blocked the girls in his account, which is like dumb, because she didn’t even care to hide the people she blocked. And Leong, doesn’t know how to unblock. =.= I have to help me. I told him to change all his passwords for safety reasons and no more giving passwords to people, even me. I mean, come on man, passwords are known only for one person, not others, if not, why it is called passwords?

To me, hacking people’s Friendster is such a waste of time. I don’t even give my Friendster account a tiny rat’s ass. So what if it’s gone? You can just create another new account. She’s got to be just dumb as hell.

And then, she even bitched to people about me. Even talking to Chef, getting sympathies from him. Those pity fools actually believed her. This makes her worse than a bitch right? She can add this to her resume: bitch, back-stabber, whore, slut and destroying people’s life.

And, the last thing that she did, that really got on to my nerves, is that she touched my darling!!! Not Leong, hahahaha, she fucking touched my car! To say touch is being nice, she dirtied and polluted my freaking baby car!! This thing that she did finally touched my nerves. Ha! Which is why I’m writing this now, because he who touched my car, will definitely die and burn in hell! I got so mad I cried. =( My poor baby car.

Don’t worry, I’m alright now. I just want to bitch about her. No, I’m not a bad person. Glen, right???

There, this is something I want to give to her

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Nah, give to you la, stupid bitch. And to inform you guys something, I'm back with my mean old self. =)

posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 9:40 AM, ,




Depressants
Saturday, October 6, 2007

I am 96% depressed.

Lately, I have these feelings of complications. I used to think that people who are always depressed are those who are very cool and I used to wish I was like them. These people, to me, they are smart and intellectual, thinking of their depressions and wanting to sort them out. Right now, I am having these thinking, I feel so depressed that I even want to slit my wrists sometimes. No, this is not for attention; it’s something that I want to blurt out.

Ever since I’m like that, I have been crying quietly every night. It is unusual to me, I seldom cry. Right now, every time I listen to certain songs, every single time to be exact, tears will automatically fall down my face and I find myself sobbing and thinking how pathetic and depressing my life is. I hate these feelings.

I know I have been blogging about my happiness. These are all just materialistic happiness, happy on the outside, yet I still find emptiness in myself. I don’t know if this is because of those teenager’s symptoms my aunt told me about, or it’s just me.

To be straight to the point, I think baby’s been hiding something from me and he refused to tell me about it. It hurts so much that I wanted to end it sometimes. It’s depressing when his ex keeps exaggerating about me and made me look like a bitch and fool. It’s depressing when I have to choose between him and my friends. It’s even more depressing when just showed face on little matters. God, I want to scream!

What’s wrong with me??!?! Sometimes I think that I’m good at hiding my own feelings, sometimes I revealed my feelings so obviously, people still don’t bother about it. I don’t like talking them to anyone. I always think that they, no offence, are simple. They don’t understand what I go through. I won’t talk to my mom about it; it will make matters even much more badly. Gosh, that sad song is ringing in my ears right now. Hold my tears!

NOBODY KNOWS ME!!!! Really, no one, except, maybe, God. I don’t even know myself. I spent 18 years searching my true self, such a waste of time. I can’t keep having this emptiness. It is really depressing.

Do you know how it hurts to love somebody? It makes you look like a super freak and a control freak. Baby told someone that I’m “clingy”. What does that mean? Am I not giving you enough space? Something in my mind keeps telling me to give it up, but people around me told me to hold on. But the question is, how long can I hold on?

He doesn’t even know that I cry every night thinking of the complications, sometimes crying myself to sleep. If mom finds out about this, I’m the blame. The only thing that keeps me from crying is force myself to work and do assignments until I tire myself.

They tell me he really likes me, how come I never actually felt about it? How come he tells people things that I don’t know and have other people telling me what he said? Is he afraid that I might be hurt?

What I always wanted to tell him is to be straight forward with me. But, these words choked in my throat when I wanted to tell him. It’s hard, ain’t it? Sigh

posted by Xia XY - My Blahs @ 10:21 PM, ,